As a K9 police officer, Ryan Allen had foresight and prepared for his own passing. He bought life and disability insurance in advance to protect his family.
“He might get injured or even sacrifice himself in the line of duty, so he wanted to ensure that if anything happened, we would be taken care of properly,” his wife Whitney Lyn Allen Gadecki told Epoch Times.
However, what happened next was completely unexpected. In 2021, Allen suffered an allergic reaction to a bee sting that led to cardiac arrest and severe, irreversible brain damage. At that time, the couple had a young child, and Gadecki was pregnant with their second child.
Thanks to their pre-planned insurance arrangements, daily life became somewhat more manageable. Allen had meticulously organized passwords on his phone, allowing Gadecki to easily handle paying the credit card bills under his name.
For several months, Allen remained in a coma with an uncertain prognosis. When the brain swelling subsided, doctors confirmed he would not recover, and the family ultimately had to grapple with the painful decision of whether to continue life support for Allen. However, Allen had not left behind any legal documents or specific wishes regarding such situations. Gadecki mentioned that Allen avoided discussing death because in his line of work, it was a real possibility.
“In the end, I had to make the decision alone,” Gadecki said. “No one wants to imagine their spouse passing away. I don’t want to sugarcoat it. It’s truly excruciating.”
These emotional and often unexpected situations play out daily. The more prepared one is for their own passing, the lighter the emotional burden and anxiety. As Allen’s story reveals, having relevant documents prepared for every possible scenario and stored in one place—a legacy drawer or cabinet—is crucial.
Paul Brewer, the founder of Legacy Project 360, a company that provides online legacy drawer services, suggests organizing your legacy drawer around key categories to simplify the process.
Ensure it includes:
• Names and contact information of relevant account managers
• All bank account information
• Health and life insurance policies
• Cryptocurrency
• Real estate and other assets
• Tax returns
• Credit card account information and passwords
• Monthly cash flow documents
• Personal property agreements
• Disaster preparedness plans
• Medical forms and records
• Prescription information
• Advance directives and trust documents
• Powers of attorney
• Advance medical directives
• Employment information and retirement accounts
• Funeral and/or memorial preferences
• Important and emergency contacts
• Pet care information
“The most critical items are your will, trust, and advance medical directives, followed by financial information, which alone make up 80% of the challenge,” Brewer said. Thinking about information that spouses may not have access to but would need or might be challenging to recall in an emergency can be very helpful.
If one spouse is not equipped to access important information for other family members, they may struggle to obtain the necessary details. Alternatively, if one partner handles the family finances, the other may need to gather a significant amount of information to ensure the financial stability of the household.
Ramsey Solutions, a personal finance solutions company, advocates for setting up a legacy drawer to provide peace of mind for loved ones. Single-parent families should share the location and access information of their legacy drawer with a trusted adult.
Ramsey Solutions also recommends:
Detailing all contents of the legacy drawer in a letter, akin to a table of contents. The letter does not need to be in a formal written format.
Storing all passwords, usernames, passcodes, and PINs in your legacy drawer. Ensure your family can access all your information in your absence.
Let your loved ones understand and appreciate the time they had with you, as it will be the most cherished legacy.
Your legacy drawer should evolve with your life changes. Schedule a “legacy day” every six months to review and update your documents.
According to Brewer’s guidance, turning this into a family tradition can make it more meaningful.
For young families, this could involve letting children decorate the cover of the drawer or write their own legacy letter.
To streamline the process, use digital or printable templates online. Useful templates and guidance can also be found on platforms like Etsy and Ramsey Solutions.
As a first responder, Brewer often finds himself with families in immense grief, sometimes after the loss of a loved one. He has witnessed the chaos that arises when families have not organized essential documents or discussed emergency preparedness plans.
“It starts with grief but becomes panic when someone realizes they have no idea about the final wishes of the deceased,” he said. “We met a woman about six months ago who had no clue about the deceased person’s bank registration information, preventing her from paying bills.”
On the other hand, Brewer has also seen families that were able to retrieve necessary information calmly from a secure place.
Brewer’s family tested an early version of his legacy folder—back when he only had a printout. During a wildfire evacuation from their home in California, his family remained collected. His wife evacuated with the children, pets, and a fireproof safe containing the legal folder, while Brewer remained at home.
Brewer’s personal and professional experiences inspired him to start his own company this year. He envisions a scenario where anyone facing a tragedy can pick up their legacy drawer and know what steps to take next.
For Gadecki, who had to balance work and caring for her children when her husband passed away, many things were well arranged. She could make decisions based on her emotional needs rather than economic necessity. She also emphasized the importance of having savings (if possible).
She eventually left her job as a lawyer and started her emotional counseling business. Her second book, “What Must Be Carried: Living a Beautiful Life Beyond Loss,” is set to be published in March.
Gadecki stressed the importance of planning for sufficient life insurance or savings to cover funeral expenses, debt repayment, and bills. This allows for a long period of grieving without worry about income issues.
“If you have things arranged properly, you might be able to take a temporary break, because getting back into life after a tragic event is really challenging. Your brain will be affected,” she said. “Giving yourself some time and space to not deal with financial matters is truly crucial.”
Recently, Gadecki remarried and was more detailed in creating a legacy drawer with her new husband. They ensured everything was considered and prepared before their wedding, including his adoption of her two sons.
She said that being part of a family means taking care of each other. Even costs like purchasing insurance and updating legal documents should be prepared for worst-case scenarios, while still hoping nothing bad will happen.
“Have those hard conversations and get things in order, especially when you have children,” Gadecki said.
“Everyone has the mindset of ‘Oh, we still have time.’ But sometimes, time might not be as abundant as we think.”