People sometimes envy others, including those of the same and opposite sex. However, what people envy about the opposite sex is a topic less explored. A recent study in the Czech Republic has revealed a new form of imbalance beyond gender when it comes to people’s envy of the opposite sex.
Despite increased openness in our society, gender inequality remains a pervasive issue worldwide. The roles society assigns to us — whether directly or indirectly — have a significant impact on our lives as reported by IFLScience. These pressures affect our behavior, attire, societal expectations of how we should live our lives, and even dictate which emotions we should express and when. Not conforming to these rules often results in social sanctions, leading to feelings of shame, anger, and sadness.
In a study conducted by researchers at the University of Ostrava in the Czech Republic, 1,769 participants aged 15 and older (with the oldest male participant being 92 years old and the oldest female 94 years old) representing the Czech population were asked an open-ended question: “What do you envy about the opposite sex?”
Responses from these participants varied from single words to a few sentences. Researchers utilized thematic analysis to categorize the answers, organizing qualitative information into recognizable patterns or themes.
The researchers found that women tend to envy the social privileges men possess, including higher salaries, workplace advantages, the ability to relax more easily, and the freedom from societal pressures related to appearance. Women often feel that society does not allow them to age naturally, hence why they envy men’s ability to withstand many of these changes. This includes men not needing to spend an hour in front of a mirror before going out, having fewer strict dress requirements, and looking attractive without the need for makeup.
On the contrary, men envy the physical beauty of women, particularly their “cuteness,” “soft curves,” “elegance,” and “attraction.” They also envy women’s so-called “seductive” power to influence others through charm. Apart from appearances, men also envy women’s ability to express emotions more openly and without fear of societal judgment.
Physiologically, women envy men’s physical strength, freedom from menstruation, pregnancy, menopausal changes, and the ability to urinate standing up. In contrast, men envy women’s ability to bring new life into the world, with some explicitly envious of motherhood.
From a psychological perspective, women envy men for being more logical in life and having visibly stable emotions. In contrast, men envy women for their capacity to multitask and assume complex responsibilities. These examples reveal key societal expectations that significantly influence how we perceive the opposite sex.
In this study, a significant number of participants (over 42% of women and over 56% of men) expressed no envy towards the opposite sex. This suggests that many individuals are less concerned about perceived gender differences and are more accepting of them.
However, this study has its limitations as it solely focuses on the Czech population and relies on a single question and responses, restricting a broader comparative analysis.
The findings of this study were published in the journal “Frontiers in Psychology.” Clinical psychologist Monica Vermani from Canada, in an article on Psychology Today, mentioned that envy is a normal emotion that can offer awareness, insights, and inspiration to seek learning and growth opportunities but can also be a source of anxiety for some individuals.
She highlighted that when we see or hear about others doing well, feelings of envy can arise. Our self-esteem may plummet, leading to a range of uncomfortable emotions from embarrassment, anger, resentment to feelings of despair.
Vermani suggested 5 steps to overcome envy, as outlined below:
(1) Acknowledge and examine your feelings — sit alongside your feelings rather than suppressing them. Allow yourself to process what is happening. Examine and challenge the truth of these feelings and fears.
(2) Explore what your envy reveals to you — envy shows you what you desire in life. It provides you with a goal and a brief impression of the gap between you and that goal.
(3) Develop an action plan — once you understand your current state and where you want to be, you can chart a course and work towards achieving your goals. Seek resources needed to achieve your objectives.
(4) Have compassion for yourself — stay connected with your feelings. Acknowledge them when you feel struggling or despair. Reflect on how far you have come and seek support and strategies when facing difficulties.
(5) Incorporate gratitude into your life — gratitude can do wonders for us. It keeps our thoughts positively oriented. Thank those and appreciate the aspects of life that support you, helping you maintain high standards. Spend five minutes each day reflecting on the positive and challenging aspects of life.