Parenting expert’s urgent appeal: Don’t let technology raise your children

In today’s digital age, ubiquitous technological products have brought convenience and comfort to people’s lives, but they have also caused negative impacts, such as over-reliance on these products leading to addiction, invasion of privacy, and decline in memory. Even parenting experts are now loudly urging parents not to let children become overly immersed in technological products, not to let these products raise their children.

Calvina Ellerbe, a sociology associate professor, author, and parenting expert at the University of North Carolina, stressed in an article on Psychology Today that many parents are at a disadvantage in the battle for their children’s attention against technology.

Ellerbe pointed out that from the moment children are born, electronic screens are used to provide entertainment, comfort, and distraction for them. This has become a part of daily life, with children often seen engrossed in smartphones, iPads, and TVs.

However, the World Health Organization has advised that infants under 2 years of age should completely avoid screens, and children under 5 years old should not spend more than one hour a day in front of screens.

Ellerbe mentioned that this recommendation starkly contrasts with the norms of modern culture, leaving parents feeling conflicted. Nonetheless, she urged parents to remain vigilant about their role and not let technology parent their children.

As a mother of six, she understands why parents may resort to using technological products as digital babysitters to keep children confined and away from potential dangers outside. However, excessive screen time can disrupt sleep, hinder children’s cognitive and emotional development, which are crucial for their overall well-being.

Another reason parents may rely on technology is the need for rest or time to do other things. Turning on the TV or handing over an iPad for children to watch can indeed provide continuous entertainment, freeing parents from constant playtime supervision.

However, children should learn to tolerate boredom. Previous studies have shown that boredom can foster creativity, enhance mental health, and improve social skills. Teaching children to adapt to quietness and find creative ways to interact with their environment is vital for their development.

Ellerbe emphasized that parenting should not be dictated by convenience, comfort, or culture. She outlined four strategies for reclaiming control from technology and rebuilding authority:

1. Self-education: Familiarize yourself with available technology and assess the costs and benefits of social media and screen use to understand how technology impacts your child. Education will clarify your position based on facts rather than fear. You can engage with your child through joint exploration of new learning platforms.

2. Employ fact-based communication for clear communication: Simply telling your child, “You can’t have social media accounts before 18 because it’s not good for you,” won’t be effective. Explain the reasons behind your decisions in a way that aligns with their personal growth and long-term goals. Providing clear and constructive explanations can foster understanding and encourage children to cultivate a long-term view of their happiness.

3. Lead by example: Prioritize personal interactions over the use of technological products. Try not to make children wait for your attention while you are engaged with these products. Demonstrate that interpersonal relationships come first, creating an environment where creativity and face-to-face interaction are the norm.

4. Build a strong parent-child relationship: Parents cannot live their children’s lives for them. Sometimes, children will encounter new experiences without parental supervision. The key is to establish a strong enough relationship that they are willing to share their experiences with you. As children grow, maintaining a strong relationship becomes even more crucial. Building trust and fostering open communication ensures they seek guidance from you rather than relying on external influences.

In conclusion, Ellerbe emphasized that strategic parenting methods are crucial in the digital age. While technology offers undeniable benefits, it should not replace an active and engaged parenting approach.

By combining self-education, effective communication, leading by example, and nurturing strong relationships, we can raise balanced, creative, and socially adept children. Let’s reclaim control, ensuring that technology serves as a tool rather than a substitute for parenting.