According to school sources, a 17-year-old Chinese female student in 12th grade was found dead in Nassau County, Long Island on the 25th. Social media rumors suggested that the girl had committed suicide. On the 26th, this newspaper contacted the New York City Medical Examiner’s Office, who confirmed that the cause of the girl’s death was “suicide” and “drowning”. Chinese parents are heartbroken by this tragic news, expressing their grief online and reflecting on the lack of sufficient focus on teenagers’ mental health in families and society.
In accordance with the missing person notice from the Nassau County Police Department, a female student named Jaclyn Xue, believed to be Xue Jialin, left Hicksville station on the morning of the 23rd at 11 o’clock, took the Long Island Rail Road, and was last seen in downtown Brooklyn, but her destination was unknown.
On the 25th, the principal of John F. Kennedy High School where Jaclyn Xue attended, Heather Dvorak, sent an open letter to parents informing them of Jaclyn Xue’s unfortunate passing.
“Today (25th) afternoon, we learned that our missing 12th-grade student Jaclyn Xue has passed away,” the statement read. “Our crisis response team has held a meeting and will be available to provide support to students and staff tomorrow and in the days ahead. We understand that each student may react differently to this news, so we encourage parents to communicate with their children.”
This news spread on social media. Some of Jaclyn Xue’s classmates posted videos on YouTube, describing her as a dedicated student with a positive attitude, good academic performance, and known for her compassion and active participation in volunteer activities outside of school; while others mentioned her struggles with mental anguish, and some noted the pressure she was facing in choosing a college.
Chinese parents are all deeply saddened by this tragedy. One parent wrote in a post, “The moment I received the call, I was completely devastated, it was suffocating. Every child is the apple of their parents’ eye, and we must prioritize the mental and emotional well-being of adolescents.”
State Assemblyman William Colton’s chief of staff and leader of the 47th District of the New York Democratic Party, Larry He, posted on the issue of education for children as a social problem faced by Chinese parents.
“This news is truly heartbreaking! Children are the hope and future of families, and the sudden decline of such a good child at the most beautiful age is a fatal blow to any family,” he wrote. He personally knows of three Chinese families who have experienced similar darkest moments, stating that in this tragedy, there was not enough love from family, care from schools, or support from society.
In a telephone interview with this newspaper, Larry He expressed that Chinese families generally hold teachers and education in high regard, are ambitious, and strive for excellence. However, he pointed out a significant issue within Chinese families, where parents tend to impose their unrealized dreams onto their children.
“The biggest mistake of Chinese parents, especially mothers, lies in ‘overstepping’ rather than ‘understeping’, meaning most parents do too much, cross the line, and if they did less, the children wouldn’t go to extremes,” Larry He said. “In my experience, children’s psychological issues include learning problems, parent-child conflicts, emotional issues… In short, the mental health of the next generation in our Chinese families is a major concern!”
Larry He stated that he and his wife have been involved in educational advocacy for the past decade. Through the internet, they have provided “family education public welfare Q&A” to friends around the world, assisting hundreds of families.
“As parents, we do need to constantly reflect, introspect, and revise,” he said. “When faced with these dilemmas, I would remind myself of three things: 1. I have no experience in parenting, all I know is my ignorance; 2. Educating a child is about re-educating oneself; 3. We are all born with talents that will be useful.”
Larry He believes it is necessary to hold a discussion on family education issues in the Chinese community, allowing Chinese parents to learn lessons and pay more attention to their children’s physical and mental health.