During the Chinese New Year, the pressure to get married has become a common issue for young people, as seen in the case of 30-year-old single man Xiao Li from Fujian. When he returned home for the holidays, he was bombarded by relatives urging him to marry. One relative even went as far as saying, “The bride price is at least 200,000 RMB, can you lend it to me?” which left the room in silence.
Xiao Li, aged 30, faces a recurring dilemma every year when he goes home: pressure from his relatives to get married. Recently, during his holiday visit, his relatives took turns trying to matchmake him, advising him to settle down quickly: “Look, you’re already 30 and still single, your family is worried!” “Oh, you’re not getting any younger, why haven’t you found a suitable partner yet?” “Look at Zhang from the other family, he got married at 25 and now has kids in kindergarten!”
Confronted with this familiar yet exasperating situation, Xiao Li didn’t respond with his usual awkward smile or evasion. He calmly told his relatives, “No rush!” Unwilling to relent, his relatives continued to press, asking, “You’re this age already, aren’t you anxious?”
At that moment, Xiao Li turned the conversation around, saying, “Well, how about this? Can you lend me some money? The bride price is at least 200,000 now, if you lend it to me, I’ll get married immediately!”
That statement silenced the previously talkative relatives instantly, creating an awkward hush in the room.
Following the publication of this news, it sparked resonance among many Chinese netizens. Many shared their own experiences of being pressured to marry during the New Year and admired the man’s witty response, jokingly saying they want to learn from his clever retort.
Some netizens shared their own experiences of being pressured to marry, such as being dragged to various blind date occasions by relatives or even being forced to showcase their “partner-finding skills” at the dinner table.
One netizen remarked, “This man’s response highlights many real issues. In today’s society, the cost of romance and marriage keeps rising, especially with the high bride prices in some regions, coupled with expenses for a marital home and wedding banquet. Marriage has become a heavy burden for many young people. The man using the idea of borrowing money to shut up his relatives exposed this reality to everyone.”
A survey by a mainland Chinese website previously revealed that over 60% of single men and women have experienced pressure from their parents to marry, with 40% stating that the frequency of parental pressure increases near the New Year.
In response to marriage pressure, nearly half of the single men and women (47.79%) believe they should hurry up and find a partner, while 30% adopt a passive attitude towards parental pressure, hoping their parents will stop urging them. Another 20% of single men and women mentioned that due to family pressure to marry, they no longer want to return home for the holidays.
A survey conducted by the Communist Party’s official media in 2023 showed that in all of China, it is common for unmarried individuals above the age of 30, both male and female. Rural young men tend to marry late and face challenges in finding a spouse, which is significantly affected by the issue of “sky-high bride prices”.
The survey highlighted that in some regions, bride prices are around 200,000 RMB, while in some areas they can reach 300,000 or even 500,000 RMB, with a few places seeing bride prices in the millions. The burden of “sky-high bride prices” has become unbearable for many rural families.
Moreover, data from the National Civil Affairs Bureau of the Communist Party showed that the marriage rate in China has been declining for several years. In 2013, there were 13.47 million registered marriages, which dropped to 7.636 million in 2021. By the first three quarters of 2024, the number further decreased to 4.747 million, a reduction of 943,000 compared to 2023.
Research by a Chinese population study institute analyzed the reasons behind the decrease in marriage registration in China, including the decline in the number of young people, imbalance in the male-to-female ratio among eligible individuals, postponement of first marriages, high urban property prices, exorbitant rural bride prices, and intense social competition leading to high employment pressures.