Etiquette Expert: Avoid These 10 Taboos When Visiting Others’ Homes

The proverb goes: “Courtesy costs nothing.” Therefore, when we visit friends and family, it is customary to bring a small gift. Especially during holidays, this is to show respect and avoid being impolite. So, aside from arriving empty-handed, what are some behaviors to avoid when visiting someone’s home? Let’s take a look at what the etiquette experts have to say.

According to the Huffington Post, even though we may feel more relaxed and casual when attending family gatherings or sporting events at someone else’s house, it doesn’t mean we can act as we please in someone else’s space.

Several etiquette experts have shared the 10 most common rude behaviors when visiting someone’s home, along with suggestions on how to avoid these mistakes.

Jodi R.R. Smith, the General Manager of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting in the United States, mentioned that when hosts say “make yourself at home,” it might just be a polite expression. Unless the host is a close friend, you shouldn’t help yourself to opening the fridge without asking first.

You should wait for the host to give you permission to touch or interact with anything you see. Before doing so, if you see something that interests you, ask for permission before handling it.

Etiquette expert Nick Leighton said, “Always ask before touching items or taking a book off the shelf.”

Diane Gottsman, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, highlighted the importance of not showing up with unexpected guests.

You might think everyone would appreciate meeting your new friend, but that doesn’t mean you can invite someone without the host’s permission.

Unless explicitly told it’s okay to bring someone along, always ask the host before doing so.

Leighton added, “Don’t demand a tour of someone’s home. Wait for the host’s invitation.”

While many hosts are happy to offer a brief tour of their home when hosting guests, not everyone feels the same way at all times. If the host doesn’t suggest a tour, refrain from wandering around on your own.

Gottsman advised that unless encouraged by the host to explore, refrain from wandering around the house.

Unexpected mishaps can occur when visiting someone’s home, such as accidentally spilling red wine on the carpet or knocking over a lamp, but it’s essential not to ignore or intentionally hide them.

Smith recommended, “If you damage an item, or even if you use up a whole roll of toilet paper, it’s best to discreetly inform the host as soon as possible.”

While curiosity is natural, Smith urged people not to snoop around other people’s cabinets.

Leighton reminded that some hosts may place glass marbles in their medicine cabinets to catch snooping guests. If you peek inside, the marbles will create a noise echoing in the bathroom, alerting the host and other guests.

When entering someone’s home, whether to remove or keep your shoes on, always follow the host’s instructions.

Leighton advised that if requested to remove your shoes by the host, be prepared in advance. If you don’t like being barefoot or suspect the host prefers a no-shoe policy, pack a pair of socks or slippers in your bag before you leave.

Smith noted that hosts should also make preparations beforehand. “A host who expects guests to remove shoes should have shoe covers or socks available. The host needs to understand if a guest might refuse, as some fashion-conscious guests see their shoes as an integral part of their outfit.”

Leighton emphasized, “Know when it’s time to leave. The most common complaint from hosts is guests overstaying their welcome.”

You might be caught up in the enjoyment of the evening, thinking everyone is having a great time. However, pay attention to the host’s body language or what they say, like, “Those wanting to continue the party, please relocate.”

Leighton added, “If your host changes into pajamas, that could be a subtle hint that it’s time for you to leave.”

Gottsman advised, “Don’t switch place cards at the dining table.”

Hosting events like dinners requires time and effort. Therefore, respect the host’s arrangements and refrain from trying to interfere or make changes.

Smith recommended that if invited to a banquet, you should inform the host in advance of any dietary restrictions, rather than waiting until you sit at the table.

Do not assume the meal will be vegetarian or free of allergens. Inform the host of any dietary limitations promptly.

The host’s pet may also have dietary restrictions, so avoid feeding your food to their dog.

Gottsman said, “Don’t feed the host’s dog under the table without asking the host first. The dog may have allergies or only accept specific food.”