If you always find yourself thinking, “Why does it seem like everyone else is doing better than me?”, then be careful, you may have started falling into the trap of comparison.
In China, there is a common saying: “People die comparing, goods are still being compared!” Although it may sound intimidating, it actually reveals a very important philosophy of life: once a person gets caught in the blind comparison trap, they will never feel happy again. It can be said that this is a road of no return. To live a content and happy life, it is important to recognize and correct one’s tendency to compare with others.
In daily life, opportunities for comparison are almost everywhere. You can always see people whose houses are bigger, cars more luxurious, appliances higher-end, earning more money, children more successful, social circles broader, and status higher than yours.
Moreover, in today’s internet age, even if you stay at home and rarely go out, social media, television ads, and various programs constantly showcase to you various “wealthy, comfortable, high-end” lifestyles, which may make you feel dissatisfied with various aspects of your own life, even leading to feelings of inferiority.
Once this mindset takes hold, no matter how much wealth you possess or how “comfortable” your life is, you may start to feel disappointed with your life and its various aspects, losing the sense of fulfillment and happiness.
To change this, the first step is to acknowledge and admit that you indeed have a tendency to compare yourself with others. Many people may argue that healthy competition can be helpful for their own efforts and drive towards the next goal. However, once trapped in a mindset of comparison, it becomes difficult to rationally determine the next goal to strive for.
Everyone’s circumstances are different, and the goals they should set for themselves at a given moment are also different. Just like the tortoise in the fable of “The Tortoise and the Hare”. Its progress goals should be based on its own speed, rather than irrationally deciding to chase after the hare’s speed. If one cannot face or even admit to having a tendency to compare, then changing it becomes even more difficult.
Furthermore, it is important to view others’ “luxurious” lives rationally. With credit cards and online loans being prevalent nowadays, many people can easily incur debt for consumption. Some people, for the sake of appearance, may skimp on necessities or borrow money to buy various luxuries. There have even been reports in China of people selling their kidneys to buy iPhones, which is truly lamentable.
In the United States, many people are living on the brink, relying on credit cards and loans for consumption. Therefore, what you see others wearing branded clothes, carrying designer bags, using various luxury goods, does not necessarily indicate that their lives are truly affluent; some people’s financial situations may even be worse than yours. Hence, maintaining a rational mindset is crucial.
Additionally, it is important to understand and accept that “everyone has their own fate”. It must be acknowledged that some people are simply “destined for wealth”. Just like how elderly people in China say, “This person must have done good deeds and accumulated great virtues in their past life.” Some people are born with a silver spoon, having excellent life conditions from birth, reaching levels of wealth that others may strive for their whole lives but never attain. Faced with such circumstances, what good does it do to harbor resentment?
Life’s trajectory is a combination of various factors. Life’s diversity is like a kaleidoscope: some people may be wealthy but suffer from physical disabilities, some may be healthy but struggle to find love, some may have harmony in marriage but have disobedient children… Every individual has their strengths and weaknesses, and wise individuals can always see and cherish what they currently have, not blindly comparing their shortcomings with others’ strengths. Otherwise, it truly is as the saying goes, “People die comparing, goods are still being compared!”
Seeing others doing well should bring joy; recognizing one’s shortcomings should motivate them to solidly improve and enhance themselves, which is the positive attitude to have. By reducing blind comparison, and focusing on managing one’s own life with peace of mind, only then can one truly experience the happiness and fulfillment of life.